hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
