Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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