I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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