Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
