My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize