I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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