Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
