I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize