you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
