FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
