i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
