apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
