That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
