She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
