you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
