and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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