The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
