Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
