If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize