I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
