Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
