i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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