we're chasing vodka with high fives
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Naked Twister starts at high noon
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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