I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
