You don't have asthma, your pregnant
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
