And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Randomize
