We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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