you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
