This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
