When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize