Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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