He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
