So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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