I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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