Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
