so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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