remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
