She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
