I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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