I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You are the jesus of drinking
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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