im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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