Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I touched a dick in church today
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
