Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize