I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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