I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
