He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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