Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
