I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
