I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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