What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
