I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
