Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize