3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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