what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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