i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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