Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
