like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
