Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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