No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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