Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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